You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
why is half of my head shaved?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize