Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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