dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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