My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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