You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
