There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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