Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I need moral support for this bender
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
50% drunk capacity currently
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
