i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
