He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
