Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
