idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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