PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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