when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
