Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
