they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize