I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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