happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
