Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
