Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
