The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
