i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
