literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
