It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
