Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
