Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
