I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Found your dick twin last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
