so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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