I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
