You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
