Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
