i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
