You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
