I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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