She is in my trunk
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
