So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am available for nakedness
Randomize