I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
