I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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