I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
