If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
