you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
