it's not cheating when I paid for it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
