and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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