You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Please, let me fuck your mom
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
