I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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