I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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