Screwed.edu
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
