Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
