They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
