ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
