yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize