Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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