can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
