guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize