I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
