We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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