I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
