And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
