there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
