There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
