He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
