I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
