If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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