how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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