stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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