My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
